“The circus is a jealous wench. Indeed that is an understatement. She is a ravening hag who sucks your vitality as a vampire drinks blood – who kills the brightest stars in her crown and will allow no private life for those who serve her; wrecking their homes, ruining their bodies, and destroying the happiness of their loved ones by her insatiable demands. She is all of these things, and yet, I love her as I love nothing else on earth.”
― Henry Ringling North, The Circus Kings: Our Ringling Family Story
In considering this quote I found that our own mind is very similar to this. For it builds us up but it can also tear us down to nothing. The creative life is very much this way for me as well. Ideas can haunt you until you allow them to come alive. Even worse they can elude you until you are down right miserable and want to throw in the towel.
This is where I came to an interesting crossroad. Personally as of lately I have been retreating into my own mind. This jealous wench creativity has been fighting for my time. While the practical me was busy taking care of everyone else. This push and pull of opposite worlds makes me miserable, for I can not satisfy both. Reaching inward came out of necessity which resulted in this series of self portraits. I let go of all ideas and preconceived notions and trusted this jealous wench that needed to loved. By putting myself into this performance roll allowed me to express my emotions and ideas and presented this jealous creative wench a life.
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